National Organization Of Short Statured Adults, Inc.

Smaller kids are often the target of neighborhood and school-yard bullys. So what can you do if your child is the victim of a bully? We have compiled a list for parents dealing with this very troubling issue:

Signs that your child might be dealing with a bully:

Try asking your child a few simple questions to find out more:

• What did they do at school today?
• Did they do anything they liked?
• Did they do anything they didn’t like?
• Who did they play with?
• What sort of games did they play?
• Did they enjoy them?
• Would they have liked to play different games with someone else?
• Are they looking forward to going to school tomorrow?

• What did they do at lunchtime today?
• Is there anyone they’d like to invite home?
• Is there any lesson at school they don’t like?
• Is there anyone at school they don’t like and why?
• Are they looking forward to going to school tomorrow?

In the first instance, at a primary or junior school, see the class teacher and explain your worries in a friendly non-confrontational way. Ask how your child is getting on with others in class and raise any issues of conflict with other children. If the bullying is occuring outside of school, locate the bully's parents and speak with them in a non-confrontational way.

Ask if the teacher has noticed that your child seems unhappy and isolated and is being excluded from games in the playground or regularly not having a partner to work with in class.

Ask the class teacher, or principal, if he/she can keep an eye on the situation and let you know if they have any concerns. Ask what the teacher suggests would be the best way of sorting it out. At a primary school perhaps the supervisors could take a more active role in the playground by keeping an eye on your child and ensuring that people are not excluded from games.

Some primary schools have “friendship seats” where younger children can go to sit if they have nobody to play with so that other pupils can ask them to join their games and the supervisors can spot whether one child is on their own too often.

Secondary schools may not be aware that there are some areas of the school pupils feel are unsafe, the toilets often come into this category.

By telling the teacher where the bullying is happening, supervision can be increased so that the bullies are caught red handed, meaning that your child can’t be accused of telling tales.

At this stage it can be helpful to try to increase your child’s circle of friends, by inviting a number of children home regularly, to forge stronger friendships.

If bullying continues:

• Keep a diary of what your child says is happening
• Or get your child to keep his/her own diary
• Write a note to the class teacher or principal, explaining that the problem is still unresolved
• Ask for your letter to be put onto your child’s school file, together with a note of action taken
• Suggest that contact between the bully and your child is monitored and limited, perhaps by the bully moving to another table or set
• Ask for a follow-up meeting after a couple of weeks to discuss how things are going

That often does the trick, but if not, it’s time to write to the head teacher, outlining everything that has gone on, and including evidence from the diary to back up your complaint. Putting a complaint in writing is essential so that there is a record of your concern.

Schools have a duty of care, and allowing a child to be continually bullied when the school has been alerted to the problem could be seen as a breach of that duty.

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